They say the great thing about being a kid is...
it's so easy to pretend.
You can have a conversation with your dog or a baseball...
or a banana.
What if it wasn't pretend?
What if you could have a conversation?
Not with a baseball or banana--
that's ridiculous--
but with your dog?
We don't have the same concept of time...
that for instance, people do... because you have watches and clocks.
But we do know that you go away.
and it's not like we don't know that you're gone.
We don't know exactly how long, no.
Why do dogs sniff each other's butts?
That's kind of our way of shaking hands.
If you really want to get a sense of who somebody is... you got to sniff their butt.
Son.
Stop talking to the dog.
She doesn't understand a word you're saying.
At first his dad thought it's just harmless kid stuff...
but as time went on, John crossed that fine line... between harmless and, you know, just weird.
-Mr. Galvin.
-Mr. Dolittle.
This is my son John., this is your new principal Mr. Galvin.
Nice to meet you, John.
Oh, boy, that's not good.
-Nice to meet you.
-John!
It was time to put an end to it.
Thank you for coming, Reverend.
Leave this boy, devil man.
Go now, Satan. Take the serpent's voices with you.
I command you to come out of this boy!
Come on out of this boy! God said it! Come on!
[Snarling] I'm gonna bite you!
That's enough! Get off!
Get this dog! Get this dog off of me!
Right now! Get this dog!
She was my best friend.
You'll make some real friends now.
John Dolittle never spoke to animals again.
Someday, you're gonna thank me for this.
After a while, all he could remember...
Was that deep down inside, there was something missing.
And like his dad wanted, he grew up to be a normal guy--
you know, miserable.
Hey, hey, get out of here!
Stupid mutt. A vicious animal's in the hallway.
Did I mention he was a father?
A lot like his own father, who was a father to him...
before he himself became a--
Ahem. Oh, look, she's got a giant egg.
Good morning, Charisse.
My name isn't Charisse. I have changed my name to Paprika.
Paprika? Paprika Dolittle, that has a nice ring to it.
Not Dolittle, Just Paprika.
Well, I don't understand. What's Paprika about?
You know, Salt'n Pepa? Paprika?
Oh, OK. Paprika. I get it.
I think Paprika is a beautiful name.
I think Paprika sounds like a seasoning.
Dolittle.
He doesn't take anything we want seriously.
Tell me about it.
Yes, Mark. I did go over the proposal.
It's unbelievable. I'm on my way now.
Maya, where are you going with that?
It's for my swan egg I found in the park.
It looks like it'd be a good omelet.
It's gonna hatch any day now.
You're gonna miss that because you're gonna be at camp.
But I can't go to camp,
because when a bird hatches...
the first thing it sees, it bonds with it. I want it to be me.
It is not normal or healthy... for you to spend all your time with your little experiments.
You know what would be a good experiment for you?
for you to spend some time with kids your age at camp...
which is exactly where you're going Sunday. You're being dropped off at camp.
You mean dumping me off. What about my pet egg?
Here's half a dozen pet eggs to take to with you to camp.
Stop it.
I don't know what the fuss is about.
We bought you that thing anyway. You got a pet.
What was that pet rat thing we bought?
Guinea pig.
The guinea rat, and the thing died. It's not our fault it died.
It didn't die. His name is Rodney, and he's in my room.
So why are you bothering me about this swan?
I'm going to work. I'm out of here. Good-bye.
Bye-bye. Have a nice day, everybody. Nice day.
John, Gene has got qualms about the new proposal.
Talk to him about it.
No room for qualms, Gene.
No room for qualms.
There's just one or two-- Qualms are bad.
Listen to Johnny.
I have qualms. You know what it is?
I'm afraid that if we let a big company... like Calnet take us over...
We're not gonna be us anymore.
You know? We--we--we'd be them.
Let me explain something.
They has the best hospitals and laboratories...
and them is gonna pay us a very big, giant amount of money.
I swear, when I think about the money, I get teary.
-It's huge. -Look at me.
Those are real tears in his eyes.
Saturday morning, we're meeting the Calnet people. See you there. I'm very excited.
Whoa. Saturday morning?
I'm supposed to take my family to the country this weekend.
Well, don't.
You see, it's happening already.
What?
You're being forced to neglect your family.
Gene, relax. No such thing.
Mrs. O'Brien?
How are you?
-Is your tummy still... -Uh-huh.
OK, Saturday morning, guys.
Gene, no tank tops, please.
Mrs. Parkus.
Yes, Doctor?
Mrs. Parkus. Have you eaten shellfish again?
-Just soft-shell crab. -What's the middle word?
-Shell. -Exactly.
Rodney's lost! He's not in his cage!
Y'all gotta get going. I'll find your hamster.
He's a guinea pig.
Whatever. It's a rodent. I'll find the rodent.
Hey, Nutmeg, let's go!
You better wipe that look off your face.
That's a little better.
Your daughter's turning into a little wise ass.
She's turning into a little you.
There's more to this HMO deal than money.
You sell, they own you.
Lisa, this is gonna be good for us.
I'm so tired of that rap.
It's always for us...
but sometimes I don't know who us is.
Us is us. Me and you and Maya and Charisse, Lisa.
The more money you have...
the more time you can spend with your family.
That's true.
In the meantime, you have to make do and be happy...
With this fancy sports car you always wanted.
Oh, my God, John, you didn't!
No, I didn't.
The van's around the corner.
But don't tell me you don't care about money.
[lmitating Lisa] Oh, John, you didn't.
That's not funny.
Oh, John.
Daddy, you have to find Rodney.
I'll find Rodney. I'll put down some sticky paper.
Don't put down sticky paper!
You peel him off it, and he'll live.
I'll turn the house upside-down, and I'll find Rodney.
Bring him with you.
And call me if my egg starts to hatch.
I'll call you
Let's go. Let's go. Get in there and you stay in there!
Dolittle
Mrs. Parkus, do you have a death wish?
But I took it out of the shell.
-Can I talk to you for a minute? -Sure.
You couldn't tell what this was?
I knew what it was.
She was frightened. She wanted her doctor.
It's a beautiful thing.
That's a beautiful thing?
-How old are you? -Twenty-six.
You spend all your time here, right?
Probably grab your naps curled up in the break room.
Little occasional nooky... With one of the interns in the closet.
I have a real life, OK?
I'd appreciate it if you only call me here... When there's a real emergency.
If one of my patients comes in carrying his own head, call me.
Somebody comes in with a bicycle up their ass,
call me.
I understand.
You want me to give her the injection?
I would not be a smart ass right now if I was you.
Make little smart statements to me at 2:00 in the morning... after I came...
Is there something wrong, Doctor?
Oh, no, Mrs. Parkus.
Ooh! [Chuckles]
There we go. OK.
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
Coochie, coochie, yaya, dada
CooChie, coochie, yaya, here
Mooka-chooka, latta, yaya
Watch where you're going next time, you bonehead.
Let me start by saying thank you very much... for giving up part of your weekend.
We want to make sure... We can answer any and all of your questions.
We want you to be comfortable with what we're proposing.
Speaking of which...
that explains the details of the buyout.
The financial information... you're probably most interested in is on page four.
Wow, four million dollars. That's pretty comfortable.
I'm comfortable. You comfortable, Geno?
Actually, I have some questions.
-No, you don't. -Yes, I do.
Are we gonna have to cut back on our staff?
Yes, unfortunately, we have to make staff cuts.
Bread?
No, thank you.
"No, thank you"?
You offered me some bread, and I don't want any, thanks.
So you have no problem with minor staff cuts?
You gonna share that bread or what?
You just said you didn't want any.
-Is this a joke? -Absolutely not.
Bagel chips!
Back off, or you'll find your nuts in a tree!
Ow! Where's the love?
You have a problem with that or not, John?
Watch your head! I'm flying here!
That's enough meeting for me. I got to get going. This was a great meeting.
Very productive. See you guys on Monday.
I'll talk to you later. Excuse me.
Johnny's been on call night, Mr. Calloway. He's very excited.
You got to move it.
I said let's go. You can't park here.
-Let's move it. -Oh, Jeez.
Thanks, man.
I'm moving it. Thank you.
This is ridiculous.
Rock steady, baby.
That's what I feel now.
Let's call this song exactly what it is.
Step and move your hips.
With feeling from side to side.
Boy, we got some fresh air here.
Yeah. That's the thing about the city.
You don't realize--
Whoa! I should've put on my seat belt!
Easy now! Easy now! Slow your butt down!
Jeez, Louise, that didn't seem too safe.
Ooh! My back hurt!
This is a dream. I'm dreaming right now.
Whoa! Hold it! Stop!
You're talking, and I understand you.
Those guys in my dorm told me that stuff wouldn't affect me.
Now fifteen years later, this shit starts happening.
Let's chill. Let's just chill.
I'm not gonna chill. You gonna chill.
What are you doing, switching sides?
Come on.
I can't drive!
Out. Let's go.
-Need help? -Oh, no. We're fine.
I'm just stretching my legs a little here.
Ask her if she's got any lettuce.
Shut your little furry mouth right now!
You sure you're OK?
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
That's good!
Thank you so much.
Good-bye.
Now what?
-You're a monster! -What are you doing?
Leave me alone!
What are you nuts? I'll roast!
Stay away, or I'll kill you!
Don't leave me out here! It's hot!
What kind of doctor are you?
Hey, Doc, this is cruel to animals!
Come on! I'm your friend! I'm your buddy!
Reverse!
That's it. Back up.
Hey, hey, hey. Don't run over the cage.
Ooh, man, you scared the crap out of me.
See? There it is.
Shut up! Shut up right now!
You say one more word...
I'm gonna leave you here, understand?
OK, OK, OK.
Oh, stop! Slow down!
Shut up!
I can hear you up there. Shut up!
Come on, Doc, I'm getting whisker-whipped up here.
One more word, and I'm letting you out!
I'll leave you in the wild!
With the real animals!
See how much talk you do... When real squirrels are kicking in your ass!
Fine, then I'll just sing.
[Singing] The answer, my friend
is blowing in the wind, you know it is.
Turning up the radio!
This guinea pig is blowing in the wind.
I can't hear you. I'm grooving.
Why do they call me guinea pig anyway?
I'm not ltalian, and I'm not pork.
Grandpa, did Daddy learn how to be bossy from you?
Maya, don't talk to your grandfather that way.
He certainly didn't learn it from his mother.
God rest her soul.
One day, you'll understand... that sometimes your parents do know what they're doing.
I made it!
Daddy, what's Rodney doing on the roof?
I thought fresh air would do him good.
Hey, baby.
-Are you all right? -I'm fine.
Hey, Daddy.
Lunatic!
Daddy, we still got those B.B. guns?
Crazy man!
B.B. guns?
Psycho!
Son, I think you need a vacation.
Yeah. I'm gonna have one, too.
This is beautiful. Excuse me, honey.
Hey, what's that step called?
I think we should get rid of Maya's little rat thing.
He's a guinea pig.
I don't know why you let him get to you.
[Gargling] I don't let him get to me.
Just a second.
I'm not letting him get to me.
Not the least bit.
Mm-hmm. Good.
Mmm. Mrs. Dolittle.
I'll be right back.
Is it all right if wait in the bed naked?
Yes.
Time to come out of these drawers, then.
Hello?
Yoo-hoo!
Out here.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, my God.
Hello.
Ooh, that's right.
You're the one who can hear us, aren't you?
I'm not hearing anything. I can't hear you.
The whole woods are talking about you, you know?
Listen, can you do me a favor?
Can you take this stick out?
It's killing me. Can ya? Huh?
Don't worry. I won't hurt you.
Much better.
Good job. Thank you.
What's happening to me?
You're gonna be pleasantly surprised, that's what.
Oh, my goodness, it's an owl.
Yeah, it's a big, nasty owl. Let's go in.
It's beautiful.
-They're very dangerous. -No, they're not.
They are. They can poke your eye out.
They can poke your eye out very easily.
Take your finger off. All of that.
What you doing messing with that owl?
Get in bed. I'm gonna check on Charisse and Maya. I wanna lock the door.
-Are you OK? -I'm fine.
-Are you sure? -Get to bed, please.
OK.
Five minutes.
Hey, crazy man, I know you having fun in there.
[Singing] Do a little dance. Make a little love.
Get down tonight. Beep beep, get down tonight.
Can I make a request? Tuna in oil instead of water?
Who put in that bug-zapper?
[Singing] Would you like to stay with me tonight?
I'm nasty.
Yo, looky here. Hey, buddy.
My old lady asks...
I been eating trash all night. You dig?
Yah! You're on my tail, you idiot.
Lose that bug light.
I know you can hear me.
Doc, while you're out, get some salmon.
You can't go wrong with salmon.
Hey, buddy, all night.
You broke Mr. Stinky, I think.
-Keep away from me! -John, what are you doing?
I have to go to the city.
What? Wait! John, why?
You just got here.
I need a doctor. I mean, I am a doctor.
But I got beeped, so I gotta go back to the city.
I'm very sorry, hon. I'll talk to you later.
I love you so much!
-Pick up the phone. -Dr. Litvack.
Hello, Sam! How are you? It's John Dolittle.
John?
How you doing? Nice to talk to you.
So, you enjoying your summer?
Jeez, it's really late.
It's 1:00 in the morning.
Is it really 1:00 in the morning?
I didn't realize it was that late. I'm sorry.
I was wondering if you wanted to get together...
for a drink or a CAT scan or something.
A CAT scan?
Can it wait until morning?
I love you.
No, I have to come right now.
-What's your problem? -Your face.
I'll hit you so hard, you'll see 10 more of me.
It already smells like 10 more of you...
so just bring it on, cheese-eater.
I'll tear you to pieces. I'll claw you.
You are tempting fate now.
Right here, fat boy.
I'll murderlize you. I'll sucker-punch you.
Stick it, you little rat!
Hey, come here, you gerbil! Ow!
-What are you looking at? -Me?
Yeah, you. Who else, buddy?
I'm just looking at greasy rats fighting over some garbage.
Come here and say that, you four-eyed...
bubble-headed doofus biped!
I'll get bubonic on your ass.
Come as you are.
What if I take that light bulb there... and put it between your little rat butt cheeks...
and make a little rodent lamp out of you?
Let me tell you something, I'm a human.
I'm sorry. Sam, how are you?
Thanks for coming down, Sam.
There's no abnormalities of any kind.
All right, then.
Why are you hearing animal voices?
Exactly. Why do I think I'm hearing animal voices... if everything is fine?
I don't want to wind up like one of these street guys...
talking to myself with dirt under my fingernails... and stinking with my hair all matted.
It's not a cool look.
Have you been under any unusual stress lately?
Not really. I got the Calnet thing.
My wife's been giving me a hard time about that...
but that can't be it.
No, that's small potatoes.
I did hit a dog the other day.
Oh, my God. A dog?
Make me feel worse, huh?
I'm sorry, but a little doggie?
The dog was fine. It got up and ran off.
He was injured?
He was well enough to scream out "bonehead" before he left.
John, the dog couldn't have spoken to you.
Sam, with all due respect--
No, John, the dog did not speak to you.
Maybe you're right.
I'm sorry I woke you up for this.
Thanks, Sam.
-Hi, honey. -Are you all right?
-Yeah. -Are you sure?
I just freaked out a little bit.
-What's wrong? -I got a lot of stress.
-From what? -The merger and the pradice.
It's all come to a head. I'm sorry.
OK, John, just come back out here, OK?
Yeah, I'm on my--I'm on my way out now.
Bonehead.
I'll see you in a few.
John? John?
Excuse me, where's the stray dogs?
Right this way.
Hey.
-Hey, man. -What's up, buddy?
Hey, buddy.
Over here.
Hey, mister, reckon I won't bite nobody again.
I am Keyser Soze.
Wait, I have owners.
They've just been out of town for a few--few...years.
Dead dog walking.
Oh, that does not sound good.
Keep your tail up, pal.
When are we gonna get some decent chow in here?
Hey, hey, hey. Thanks a lot.
That was close, huh?
You got kids? I love kids. They're the greatest.
Kids are great. Tell me what the hell is going on.
Hey, you understood me.
You don't say? Think I'm going crazy.
How come I can understand you?
Maybe you're just weird.
Shut up. You're a dog. Dogs can't talk.
What do you think barking is, an involuntary spasm?
I don't know what barking is. I know you're not barking.
I'm going to be with my family. Excuse me. Good luck to you.
That's it? [Coughing]
Oh, it must be that truck exhaust or something.
Oh! Now everything's going black.
It's not good.
-Thank you. -Whoops.
Hoo! Is that the biggest ass you've ever seen?
Lie down, Chauncy.
Lie down.
Lie down, Chauncy!
He's deaf.
I'm not deaf.
I just can't stand listening to her.
Don't fix me. Please, don't fix me.
I won't look at another female ever, I swear.
Anything but my manhood, man.
Not my manhood! Please, I'm--
Yo, baby, what's up?
You're looking pretty sweet there, sugar.
No! Oh, don't, please!
Please--No, no, no! Don't!
Please, I'm begging you!
Dolittle.
Come on.
So, what seems to be the problem?
I tell you, I really think it's pulmonary distress.
He might have some fluid on his lungs, too.
Let me guess. You're an M.D.
Yes, I am.
I can tell when a real doctor brings in an animal.
They always like to do a little amateur diagnosis.
Could you tell him to get away from my butt?
I did go to veterinary school for five years.
Is it just me... or is he just hovering around my butt a lot?
Unlike an M.D....
my patient cannot tell me where it hurts.
Could you tell him my butt is great?
So, Doctor, if you don't mind.
Where does he think he's gonna put that?
Look, I was faking it, OK? I feel fine.
Just don't let him stick that thing up my--Hello!
Let's listen to those lungs, shall we?
I'm gonna swallow the thermometer...
and I don't mean in my mouth.
Maybe I should pull that out a little bit.
Don't touch that.
It's going south for the winter.
See, I have to interpret...
What the dog is moaning about.
What's to interpret?
There's a thermometer. It's in my butt.
-It'll be over in a minute. -What?
Yes?
There it goes. Butt just swallowed it.
Doctor, I'm just guessing...
but I think you might have lost your thermometer.
Well, it's gone.
-I have three options. -[Passes gas]
One, I can manually retrieve it.
What's he saying?
He wants to retrieve it manually.
Pass.
Two, give the dog a laxative and wait it out.
And three, surgically remove it.
-A laxative or surgery. -Laxative!
Why don't you just give him a laxative?
It'd probably come out later.
Never works.
So, what would you suggest?
I'd like to go in manually.
There we go.
Oh, my Lord! Aah! This is not good!
Oh! Lassie, go home!
Why on earth would a guy... go into a line of work like that?
That's it for you. Hit the road.
What? But I'm your pet.
You are not my pet.
I wouldn't get one as annoying as you.
Now get out.
Don't worry about it.
You sprung me from the joint, you fixed me up, I'm thankful.
-Yeah, just go. -Don't worry about me.
I'll just be going down the road... disappearing without a trace.
I hope a car doesn't hit me. Oh, well, one less dog.
-Dolittle. -Hi, Daddy.
Hey, baby, how you doing?
Am I gonna see you before I go to camp?
Honey, I'm really working on it.
Ruff! Ruff! Get out of here!
-Ruff! -Is that a dog?
Yeah, that's a dog.
Mommy, guess what. Daddy got me a dog.
-No, no, no. -Hey.
-Daddy didn't-- -That what you've been up to?
Oh, you caught me.
What? I have allergies.
Yeah, I guess well see you at camp.
Grandpa, Daddy got me a dog!
Can you believe it? My own dog.
They're gonna want to know your name.
I don't have one.
We're gonna have to think of one.
Let me see, a little girl once called me...
"Please, mommy, not him." How about that?
Nah, that's not gonna work.
You got red hair. How about Lucy?
Yes, I like that. Lucy.
Good name. Yeah, just one problem. I'm a guy.
Really? How about Lucky?
Perfect. Lucky, yes. Hi, I'm Lucky.
Hey, it works on two levels. I love it.
Daddy!
That's my daughter. Be nice.
Oh, you got me a dog! He's adorable!
Oh, you're such a cute dog!
What's his name?
His name is Lucky.
Does he do any tricks?
He does a neat trick with a thermometer that's funny.
-Hey, baby. -Hey, baby.
You got her a dog.
I got us a dog.
Are you OK?
Yeah.
Let's get you all set up.
Oh, look at this nice rabbit on your door.
Isn't that nice?
Oh, this is nice.
What a fun cabin!
Oh. Oh! You smell the air here?
What a wonderful place. what a wonderful camp.
Daddy, can I go home with you and Lucky?
Hey, Maya...
look, here's the deal.
You stay here for a little while... have a great time, then Lucky's all yours.
Three weeks is a long time. Couldn't I just go home--
No camp, no dog.
OK, I'll stay.
You're gonna have a great time.
When you get older, you're gonna thank me...
because you'll have so many friends. You'll see.
You'll see.
What's the matter with you?
Everything's going by so fast.
Don't you dare throw up in this car.
What are you looking at?
The lines on the road. They're just whipping by.
Lines. Line, line, line, line, line, line.
Don't focus on something so close. Look at something further away.
OK.
Tree, tree, tree, tree, tree... tree, tree, tree, tree--Ohh!
Just, sir, could you just--
[Chuckles] Who knew?
Not only could he understand me...
but it turns out he's a doctor. Look!
Not even a scar.
And it hurt so bad. I don't know what I would have done without him.
Oh, what a day. Ohh.
You have knots all over the place.
I'm all messed up. I'm falling apart.
How's that feel?
Oh, Mrs. Dolittle.
Yeah, baby!
Excuse me one second, OK?
Excuse me just one second.
-What? -Let's go.
What a gyp.
You mind if I have a little privacy, please?
But it's fine when people watch us do it, huh?
Fine to turn on the garden hose.
Hey, you want a tip on a good position?
You were barking.
I'm excited.
When I get excited, I make all kinds of sounds.
You never barked before.
Hello.
Yoo-hoo, Doc. We got trouble here.
-[Chattering] -Let's go!
Hey, no, no. You take care of the ducks, I'll take the goat.
Me?
All right, I'll get the ducks.
What's going on out there?
Mark just showed up... so I'm gonna have to go over the proposal.
-Let's move it. -Don't do that.
Lucky's out here. He wants to go for a walk first...
so I got to walk Lucky, then deal with Mark.
Great. I'll see you in the morning.
I'll be the one cooking breakfast.
Tomorrow. Ruff!
Oh, hey, Mark. Hi, how you doing?
You're trying to destroy my life, all of you, aren't you?
Freeze! Stop right there!
Why are you in the hallway this time of night?
I have to go to the bathroom.
What are you doing?
I'm patrolling the hallways. I'm the father. I make sure everything is safe.
You wait. Don't you move.
The reason you're up going to the bathroom...
is because you drink all those liquids.
I think that you're old enough to hold it, so go to bed.
But, Dad, I have to go.
Lucky's in the bathroom right now.
The dog is using the bathroom?
I'll put the seat down, then it's your turn.
Don't you move from there.
Hey! You heard of knocking?
Hey, one quack, not one quack.
Here's the toilet.
It's all down like y'all like it, ready for you.
No little sprinklets on it or anything. It's just waiting for you to come and do your thing.
Dad, don't need adult supervision.
Somebody get this thing off me.
Get this thing off. Uhh!
Take it easy. Don't gag me.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, honey.
Let's go. See what you almost made happen?
What I almost made happen? What did I do?
Beep beep. We're the sheep. Ha ha.
Not these clones.
Where you going?
-Top dog. Coming through. -Sorry. Am I late?
Good evening, Doctor.
No. You're gonna have to take your fat ass back out.
Oh, my God, what a zoo.
Hmm, obviously not a kosher establishment.
Everybody just come in.
Where are the chicks? Ooh! I'm cool.
-Look at this mess. -Waiting list for patients?
Let's go, landing. Make way!
[Belches] Very well-appointed sty.
What's going on? What is all this?
I don't know. You know, tell a friend. Ha ha.
Looks like they need to talk to a doctor, Doc.
Our butts hurt.
OK, let's do this.
And watch your droppings.
Tonight, this is the house of love!
East Coast! West Coast! Let's unite!
Is Brooklyn in the house?
This should take care of the inflammation.
The only problem is, who'll wipe it on for you?
Does Brad Pitt need a goat?
It's not something you should be ashamed of.
It happens to most men occasionally.
You're probably under a lot of pressure.
He's not under pressure.
He's not attracted to me, because I'm just a pigeon.
He's a self-hating pigeon.
That is not true.
Ask him what he does all day.
I sit in a tree by myself.
Because he's too good to eat with the rest of us... When the old people feed us in the park.
Can I say something?
And the way he stares at a robin's breasts... it's enough to make you sick.
I happen to be attracted to orange breasts.
You're not a robin.
You're not a dove or a hawk.
You're a pigeon, and I'm a pigeon.
She sits on the nest all day and gets crazy.
They're gonna be pigeons, too.
May I ask you something?
If I turn this way don't I look a little like a blue jay?
The prblem with your equilibrium... might be due to an inner ear infection.
Or it may be due to this.
[French accent] I'm a social drinker. Ha ha.
Very social. Ha ha.
Stand up. Stand up.
Touch your nose and raise your left leg.
Nose. Leg. Huh?
I think you're wasted.
Let's see you walk this line.
Oh, my goodness. Well...
You have a drinking problem.
I suggest you stop drinking...
Because I think you might be an alcoholic.
-Really? -Nobody likes a drunk monkey.
Sorry.
You're suffering from obsessive-compulsive behavior.
Throw the ball!
When you want the ball, think about something else.
Don't say anything more! Throw the ball!
You need to relax your mind.
You're the person. You throw the ball.
I'm the dog. I get it. Simple as that.
I swear, I'll pee on your carpet.
Please, please, please, throw the ball.
Shut up and throw the ball.
Am I alone here?! Am I all by myself?!
Am I in another universe?!
Throw the damn ball!
He threw the ball! Oh, he threw the ball!
I'll get it! I'll get it!
I love you! I love you! You threw the ball.
You can't save them all, Hasselhoff.
Hey, is there a doctor in the house?
Right up here, above your head.
They're gonna kick me off the force.
I'm as blind as a bat. Can you help me?
-Give me a minute, all right? -All right.
-Be quiet. -Sorry.
Tell me what you think of these.
Holy road apples! I can see!
No desk job for me!
Thanks a million, Doc.
You are most welcome.
This is gonna be great. I'll make lieutenant.
Nothing can stop me, nothing.
Look at that, a doughnut shop.
What a night. I mean, all those animals.
I bet that's just the tip of the iceberg.
When word gets around what's going on--
Doctor, you must help us quick.
What are you talking about?
It is all my fault. I should not have let him out.
Calm down.
The circus tiger, [Hiccup] he will jump.
Didn't I tell you you should stop drinking?
Drinking, I give it up.
That's better. Come on. Let's go.
Wait for me. You don't know where it is.
And now, on the day I end it all...
I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady... my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver.
I'd like to leave Jack the midget nothing.
It's too late for you, Jack. You're a short--
Hey, get out of there! You're in my landing space!
Man.
See if you land on your feet, road kill.
Why don't you bloodsucking vermin take a break?
Mmm. Bloodsucking
Look out below!
-Luck, come on. -Come on, what?
We got to go up there!
Are you crazy? That's a tiger.
I'm jumping now.
Will you come on?
Don't try and stop me!
Coming right up, one order of man, side of dog.
I need a drink.
Good-bye, cruel world.
Oh, no, I just remembered.
I wanted to leave the whip to the baboon.
One of the few animals that enjoy that kind of thing.
Hey, who are you?
I'm Dolittle.
Yeah, well, get out of here.
I'm in a lot of pain, and I'm gonna jump.
Hey, whoa, whoa. Take it easy now.
Listen, I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help you.
I don't need a doctor. I need a miracle.
I'm a train wreck.
I have headaches, nausea.
The worst thing is this double vision.
Aw, what's the use?
It's not like anybody cares about tigers anyway.
Stop. You're being silly.
There've been lots and lots of lovable tigers.
Yeah? Name one.
How about Tony?
Tony the cereal tiger?
What? I didn't hear you come up with anything.
Oh, remember that song "Eye of the Tiger"... from "Rocky lll"?
[Singing] It's the eye of the tiger.
It's the thrill of the--From "Rocky III..." When Rocky was fighting Mr. T, couldn't beat Mr.T.
Then Apollo Creed played Eye of the Tiger" for him.
He beat the snot out of Mr. T because of "Eye of the Tiger."
Because of that song. It moved him inside.
Not "Eye of the Moose," not "Eye of the Bull..."
"Eye of the Tiger."
That's it. I'm jumping.
Don't jump!
Jump, you big pussy!
Come on, you little scaredy-cat!
I'll catch you! Not! Ha ha ha ha!
Didn't I say take a break? Aah!
All right, Doc, then you jump.
Why do you wanna help me?
I'm the only one who can.
Maybe it's my destiny.
Maybe it's your destiny to be the tiger everybody remembers.
Why else would I be here?
because the drunk monkey can't keep his mouth shut.
Are you gonna let me help you?
What if you can't?
If I can't help you, then you can eat me and Lucky.
Or just him.
Really? Will you take me back to the circus?
I will take you back to the circus.
All right. But don't think I wasn't gonna jump... because I was.
Uhh! Sure hope you're a better doctor... than you are a singer.
Good job, Doc.
Although, seeing a tiger jump five stories...
Would've been really, really cool.
I heard that.
Hey, Dr. D. Johnny D. 3:00, Calnet.
Meeting to go over the agreement.
You're not gonna believe what I got for us.
Corporate cars every two years.
Why aren't you paying attention to me?
"Atlas of Feline Anatomy for Veterinarians"?
But we treat humans at our practice.
Hey, Mark, sit down a second.
Just a minute.
Do you remember when we first started out?
We had those crummy offices in the worst neighborhood in town. We got paid almost no money.
I've blocked it out.
-Have you really? -I guess so, yeah.
Those were the most exciting times to me.
You couldn't wait to come to work... because you felt like you were making a difference.
Last night, I had to treat some--some emergencies.
And I was challenged, and it was difficult...
and I got the same kind of rush I had back then.
I felt like was doing something. I felt like was making a difference.
And I started thinking that maybe here... I'm not giving my patients the right amount of attention.
John, do me a favor. Don't ever confide in me.
I'm useless in these areas. I'm a very self-absorbed man.
You want to get Gene in here?
Hey, Gene, get in here!
You did your job by pretending you were listening. It was very helpful to me.
Anytime.
Calnet, 3:00.
Three o'clock sharp.
Calnet.
This is Dr. Fish.
Is this the author of "Feline Illnesses and Diseases"?
Yes, it is. You've read my book?
Have I read your book?
I sleep with your book next to my bed. It's my Bible.
Some consider it the definitive work on cats.
but Bible, uh...
Well, no, I can see your point.
Dr. Fish, I have a very, very sick... very, very big cat.
I'm concerned it might be something really serious... because his vision's impaired...
and he seems to be in a lot of pain.
Well, unfortunately, if it is in the head...
there's only two options. One is surgery...
and the other is putting it down.
I have no idea how I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna try to take care of you. I promise.
Just hurry back.
Every minute you're gone, I'm one minute close to death.
I just might hang myself by my underpants!
I can get underpants!
Not really.
He blew off the Calloway meeting.
I don't care about that. I need to speak with John.
You wouldn't believe what's going on here.
Oh, Doc!
You gotta help me. He's dead.
He's not dead.
Don't go, buddy, old pal, friend of mine.
You got to help him.
Oh, really? Why is that?
Why, because-because...because you're the man.
Oh, I'm the man now?
I thought I was the guy you wanted to get bubonic on.
I'm going towards the light now.
I was kidding. You and I were riffing.
Serious? Come on.
Good-bye, world. I smell flowers.
I'm begging you, don't let him die.
Don't let my buddy go.
I'm sinking fast.
John.
-Hey, Mark, hi. -Where the hell have you been?
-What? -Calloway! The meeting!
I had an emergency. Excuse me. Sorry.
Oh, excuse you.
Hang in there, brother.
Does it hurt when I do this?
It ain't no day at the dump.
If he dies...
[Sniffles] I don't know what I'll do.
He'll drag me outside and eat me.
Only out of respect.
Guys, want to be quiet? I can't hear while you talk.
Sorry, Doc.
-John. -Uh-oh.
He said he was suffering from severe abdominal cramps.
He said?
I wouldn't be working on this rat unless it was an emergency.
Look for yourself.
What happened, Doc?
I think he's gone into arrest.
I don't feel a pulse.
He's a goner!
-He isn't breathing. -Johnny.
Maybe we should shock him.
I don't know.
The paddles'll be too big. Come on.
We have to give him CPR. You know how to do CPR?
CPR? I can't even spell it.
I can't even look. Doc! No, Doc!
No, Johnny! Oh!
Ooh, for God's sakes.
You didn't even wine him or dine him, Doc. No, Doc. I think my friend would rather die.
No!
No tongue, Doc. Eee!
-Pfft pfft! Come on. -Doc, do something.
-I got no pulse. -John!
Lisa, not now! I'm trying to save somebody!
-Honey. -Hey!
Lisa, please!
I'm hungry. [Passes gas]
-It's a false alarm. -A false alarm!
There's nothing wrong. He just has gas.
Whoa! You're telling me!
He just had gas.
Ha ha. You're back. He's got gas.
I don't care if you stink. I love you, pal.
Thanks, little buddy. I felt your presence.
Lisa, stop looking at me like that.
[Sighs]
John Dolittle.
Who would have ever thought... you would end up in a mental institution?
Number one in our medical school class.
Not that I'm jealous, John.
Someone had to finish first.
Someone had to finish last, too.
So, John, you talk to animals now, do you?
Would you like to tell me about it?
Or would you rather tell my friend here, Bettelheim?
I don't need to talk to your cat, Blain.
Why, do you think he would talk back to you?
He just might.
And what would he say?
I'd say you were a butthead.
I really like this cat.
He's recommending you stay here ten days.
You really think I need to be here that long?
You said that you can talk to animals.
I can really hear them.
Hey... I can.
You gotta believe me.
I can't.
Here you go. Your medicine.
OK, then.
I'll get you anything. Saucers or coasters--
Go away.
I can get you anything you need.
If you have any extra medication I could use it whoa!
Now, what is all this?
This is to prove to me and the rest of the world... that you can actually talk to animals.
The orangutan is attached to this brain wave monitor.
Normally, he responds to visual stimulation...
but since you have got the gift of gab...
you won't need pictures to make him respond, will you?
Get acquainted, John.
OK, listen. I need your help.
I need you to make that needle over there move...
because if you don't, they'll make me stay here forever.
So just make that little needle jump.
Come on.
I know you can hear me, so don't play.
This is very serious right now.
I guess he's just not a big talker, John.
Give me a break. Say something, please.
Please escort Dr. Dolittle back to his room.
Adios. Muchas gracias por nada.
Wait a minute. You speak Spanish?
That's why I couldn't understand him.
You're slick getting a monkey from south of the border.
Remove him. Go.
Turn that thing back on. Me llamo es--
-Spanish. My God. -Come on!
Tu conoces will smith?
I'm worried, John.
You're not worried about me.
You're worried about Calnet.
John...I admit it.
I want the money.
I'm not ashamed of that.
Look, here's what I want you to do for me.
I want you to stop barking and chirping for one day.
If you do that, I'm pretty sure you can get out of here.
That would be a good idea, because Calloway called me...
and said that if you're not back by Friday...
for the press conference, the deal's off.
If you would do that for me, Johnny...
I'll buy you a rat farm...
and you can burp and fart those little rats...
till you pass out. But let's get it signed!
OK, my shot. My shot.
Pick it up. Pick the phone up, please.
Hi, we're not here. Leave a message.
Hey. Hi, it's me.
I'm really starting to miss you guys.
I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing in here, too.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe this whole thing's my imagination.
Hey, honey! Feeling better?
Who is this?
I'll give you a hint.
I'm cute, furry,
and I make 500 babies a year.
Rodney! Get back in your cage!
Hey, Doc, what's up with that trap behind the fridge?
You trying to kill me?
Never mind that! Get your furry ass back in your cage!
Right now! I don't want your droppings--
Bye-bye.
My son Rodney.
Little hairy boy sleeps in the cage.
I have to keep him in the cage because he has hygiene problems.
He's not coming back.
I can't believe I fell for it.
Oh, boy, I'm getting dizzy.
You don't look so good.
Look who's talking.
What do the three of you know?
I'm in bad shape.
Ow, my head.
What kind of a name is "Ed" for a horse?
What kind of a name is "Wilbur" for a man?
Peanut butter. That's how they got him to move his lips.
They gave him peanut butter in the back of the mouth.
I disagree, sir.
Look, look! See his jaw?
See? See?
The esophagus, yes.
He's not talking.
No, no, no.
What?
Finish what you were talking about.
Full teeth! Full teeth!
Psst! Doc, out here!
Doc, hey, over here!
-What are you doing here? -You're unbelievable.
I cross three freeways at night to rescue you...
and all I get is, "What are you doing here?"
This isn't a prison. It's a clinic.
Look, the tiger's in bad shape.
The tiger? Listen, forget the tiger!
Let me tell you something. I had a perfect life...
Until you came along and started talking to me.
Now, I'm sitting here in a robe and slippers... discussing Mr. Ed with these guys.
You've ruined my life enough.
Just get out of here. Go! This is crazy.
Oh, I get it.
It's crazy to want to save a tiger's life.
Tigers die everyday. It's called nature.
Let me tell you a little about nature.
I'm a dog, and I act like a dog.
I don't try to be anybody else. We are who we are...
and you are a doctor who can talk to animals.
That's who you are.
That is not who I am!
Stop lying to yourself.
Didn't I tell you to get out of here?
Get out of here! Go! Get out of here!
-Fine! -Stop talking to me!
With pleasure!
Better not come back! Aah!
Bonehead.
That's all of y'all! Leave me alone!
Stop talking to me!
Ruined his life. That's a laugh.
OK, Blain, I want to go home.
Oh, so soon?
And miss the field trip to the zoo?
I know you've always hated me since medical school...
but we are both adults now. Let's put that behind us.
I want to get back to my family. How do I do that?
Well, it's very simple.
Stop talking to animals.
Simple.
All right, you're right. I made a mistake.
Maybe it was a case of temporary insanity...
maybe I was working too hard.
It's over.
I don't talk to animals anymore.
I'm not convinced.
We'll talk again in a month or so, OK?
Tell you what, Blain. You sign my release form...
and I won't tell our fellow doctor friends... about that little pink tutu you keep in your closet...
With the thong back.
Daddy's home!
-Daddy? Hey, Daddy! -Hey, beautiful, how are you?
John.
Hey, baby. Mmm!
Why didn't you call me?
I wanted to surprise you.
Why aren't you in camp, young lady?
Mom brought her home.
I didn't fit in.
You're gonna have to try a little harder next year.
Give me a hug. I missed you.
Daddy's baby, huh?
-Honey? -Hmm?
Do they know that you left?
No, I escaped. Of course they know I left.
They released me. They told me I was better...
time to come home and spend time with my family.
Ahem. Are you not talking to me?
You're sure you're OK?
Oh, yeah. I'm fine.
I got scared wondering when you were coming home.
Well, I'm back, and I'm fine...
and everything's gonna be like the old days.
I know what you're doing.
Two can play that game.
I don't have to listen to you, either.
Honey, maybe we should
get rid of that dog.
I ain't listening! Coming home empty-handed!
Don't tell me there wasn't a gift shop at the loony bin!
Diane, please call down to radiology...
and get me the x-rays on Mr. Galvin.
Also, check with Mrs. Rivers. and see if she can switch her appointment to 3:15.
I may need to call in Gene for a consultation.
Yes, Doctor.
Gene, can you check your schedule and see... if you have time for a 3:15 consult?
Sure.
Good. Mark, get back any tests on Mr. Freeman?
I think they're coming in this afternoon.
Good. Keep me informed, OK?
Doc, do you think I should get my beak done?
-Fshh! -Hey!
Call somebody from maintenance for permanent screens... or some traps.
This is a doctors'office, not a zoo.
He's back!
We're gonna be rich!
This is where he lives...
and this is where he exercises.
Does he do aerobics?
Guinea pig aerobics.
Let's get this show--Hey, put that thing away.
We don't have time. You'll get your dress dirty.
Pop, will you help out, please?
Rodney wants to come.
Absolutely not. Rodney cannot come.
This is a press conference for people.
No Rodney, no way.
You tell him he can't come. He'll listen to you.
I'm not going to tell him he can't come.
Help out.
Come on, Pops.
Can I tell you a secret?
Yeah, sure.
When Mommy told me what happened to Daddy...
I wasn't afraid, I was happy...
because I believed he could talk to animals.
I wanted Dad to be weird like me.
Is that wrong?
No. No, it's not wrong.
Sometimes I don't think he likes me very much.
Honey, he loves you.
I know he loves me...
but I don't think he likes me...
and I really want him to.
I gonna try to do things his way, Grandpa...
and stop doing these stupid experiments.
No, Maya.
Don't stop your experiments.
Sometimes, daddies are the ones who need to change.
Let me park this car.
All right. Come on, girls.
Maya, let me talk to you a second.
She'll be in there in a second.
OK.
Hey, listen...
I don't think your egg is a stupid idea.
I think it's kind of cool.
-You do? -Yes, I do.
You have curiosity and a lot of good ideas...
and that's what makes you special.
You mean weird.
I didn't say weird. I said special.
Being weird is not such a bad thing.
A lot of great people were considered weird... When they came on the scene.
Like who?
Lots of people. Albert Einstein.
When he showed up with his crazy hair...
people thought he was weird.
A guy that smart was weird to people.
Muhammad Ali. When he showed up on the scene...
saying what round he was gonna knock out people in...
and screaming, "I'm the greatest..."
people thought that was super weird.
And Joan of Arc. She heard voices.
Like you, Dad?
Yeah, like me.
But listen, this is what I'm trying to tell you.
No matter what happens, you be who you are...
and you love who you are...
because I love you.
Gimme a kiss.
You know, Dad, you're a great person.
-Thank you. -And a weird one, too.
-See you inside. -OK.
[Sniff] That was beautiful, man.
Hey, Lucky, what are you doing here?
Do you have a tissue?
Yes, I do--right in the back in that pocket over there.
Listen, I'm sorry I ignored you back at the house.
You said, "Be who you are," and you were right.
You put me back in touch with a part of me I'd forgotten.
Could you take it easy? I'm trying to say something.
Then just say it.
I'm trying to say it.
What do you think I'm trying to say?
"I love you, Lucky."
No, that's not what I'm trying to say.
Oh, yes, it is.
That is not what I'm trying to tell you.
Come on. Deep down inside... that's exactly what you want to say.
Come on now. You'll feel a lot better.
Let it out. Go ahead.
You know it. I know it.
I love you.
You love me?
Oh, I'm gonna need another tissue.
Where are we off to?
We are off to ruin my life.
Psst! Wake up!
Hey, Doc. You came back.
You need help. I want you to take some tests.
Tests?
That's good, right? Tests?
Ohh...I hate these stairs.
Take good care of him.
-He's our star. -He'll be OK.
-Great. More steps. -Come on, get in.
Wait a minute. The dog gets to ride up front?
Stop looking at me like I'm a side dish.
Don't flatter yourself.
You guys, shut up. Quiet.
Hey, look, Jerry!
-Keep your voice down! -He's a big fan.
Hey, Jerry! How you doing, dude?
Just going for some tests.
I'm fine. The tiger's fine.
Stop the car!
-I told you they'd get away. -No thanks to you.
No thanks to me?
Three armed guards versus a pigeon? That's a fair fight?
He's not at home and not answering his pager.
I'm starting to get worried.
-Mom. -Yes?
Guess who Maya brought to the party?
Rodney!
Rodney, there you are.
Rodney! Aw, man!
Where the hell is Dolittle?
I just talked to him.
He stopped at an orphanage to take care of a sick child.
That is so John. It's so typical of the man.
He just cares.
Weller, take your lips off my butt...
long enough to hear what I'm going to say.
If Dolittle's not here in ten minutes...
I'm pulling the plug.
You're not going to have to do that.
He's at the orphanage. He'll be here in five minutes.
I hope so.
He'll be here in five--Piss!
Hey. How you doing?
Where's the kitchen at? I got to get in here.
Where's the food?
-Rodney? -Uh-oh, she's coming to get me!
Rodney?
Who's Rodney?
Sorry.
Rodney?
This ain't no kitchen. Smell bad.
Must be cookin' chitlins.
And what's this for?
Hey! Hey! [Muffled yelling] Somebody help me!
Hey! What the--
I can't swim!
Aah, yourself!
Aah! Where you going?
Get me out of here! Hey!
Somebody get the license plate number!
I have just been violated!
-This is where you work? -Come on.
Don't throw that away. That's the marrow.
It's the best part of the bone.
Oh, look who's here.
If it isn't Siegfried and Roy.
Keep it quiet. Lucky, keep an eye out.
-You rats help him. -We don't work for you.
Give me a break. I saved your life.
Yesterday's news. Take a hike.
You want gratitude? Get a hamster.
"Get a hamster." You kill me!
I gotta get help!
Yeah, I got a plate I.D. on the catnapper.
Do something!
The heart of a hawk! The heart of a hawk!
A chicken hawk!
The heart of a hawk!
[Singing] I feel good.
I knew that I would
That feels good. Ohh!
I enjoy my personal relationships with my patients.
You'll get over that.
-Well, maybe I just-- -I'm joking, Gene.
He's got to get with the program.
He's the kind of guy who'd rather be... trudging through the snow with his little black bag.
Making house calls.
Exactly. It's kind of adorable really--Ow!
-That hurt me. -Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry.
Oh! I've broken my nose!
I think I broke his nose. Let me check.
Oh, my God! I broke his nose!
Let me take him to x-ray.
I'm blacking out! I'm blacking out!
that...
feels good!
Ow. Geno, this really hurts.
Of course it hurts. You walked right into a door.
Your septum is completely crushed.
I'm bleeding.
Do we have any morphine in the vault?
Hey, guys.
John.
What happened to you?
-I walked into a door. -Crushed his septum.
Oh, really?
Look, guys, this is not really a good time.
I'm kind of here with somebody.
-Oh, my God. John. -What?
I do not approve. Lisa is a wonderful woman.
-Jesus. -It's OK, guys.
It's a frigging tiger, man!
It's all right. He's not going to hurt you.
I know him!
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Oh, my goodness. I have to sit.
Here's what we're going to do.
We tell Johnny
we're going to fix his little tiger up...
after he signs, OK?
Then we have him committed to Happy Acres. That way, we'll get our money.
It looks like it's shifted to the left. That means there's something applying pressure to it.
But, John, you can't operate on a tiger.
Especially when you don't know his symptoms.
Double vision and chronic headaches. He told me so.
You're going to wind up back at Hammersmith's.
I've been very supportive of you...
but if you expect me to believe...
that a tiger told you what his symptoms are...
I might have to draw the line--
You have to do something--quick.
We got to get him into O.R. fast.
It's the only chance he's got, Gene.
What about the press conference?
Twenty bucks say this guy never shows.
Watch your back. Trying to get to the operating room.
Clear the way, please.
Out of the way, please.
Clear a spot, please. We have an emergency here.
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
Clear the way, please. Coming through.
There you are. Let's do this.
Mr. Calloway, Mark broke his nose.
The nose can wait. The press is waiting.
Come on, partners. We're announcing.
I really don't know if we should leave Mark...
Come on.
Where were you?
Thank you all for coming...
and thank you all for being so patient.
As you all know...
the practice of medicine and the business of medicine...
have been undergoing very big changes in this country.
We at Calnet strive to be at the forefront of these changes.
That is why I'm proud to announce...
the acquisition of one of San Francisco's...
This is the life.
Hot wings, nuts.
I love nuts.
Oh, my God.
Live prey.
[Sniffs] Uh-oh.
That's a big cat.
It's all right.
It's OK. It's all right.
It's OK.
He's not going to hurt anybody.
He's just a very, very sick tiger.
You better have some kind of rational explanation.
Mr. Calloway, I don't have a rational explanation for this.
I wish I did, but I don't.
Right now, I got a really sick tiger.
I'm going to go back and try to save it.
That's the only thing that matters.
Dolittle, you go through with this--
So, if you'll excuse me...
Stupid cat. Ruined a good party.
-Shut up. -What do you mean?
Hey, I was getting ready to do karaoke!
What the hell is this?
No more bacon, no more chops.
One, two, three, four...
you ain't getting through this door.
No justice, no peace.
Make love, not war!
Fur is murder.
Free Willy.
Pigs go home.
-Hmm? -No, no. Not you, the police.
Wow, this is great. Are you OK?
The man's coming down hard, but we're strong.
I got such a chill.
-Really? -Really.
Gonna give you a local. It's not gonna hurt.
It'll feel like a little be eting.
A little pressure. That's about it.
OK? Here I come.
He can't do this.
He still thinks he can talk to animals.
He can, Lisa. He can talk to animals.
It all started when he was a kid.
I didn't know what to do.
What are you saying, Dad?
I thought it was a handicap...
but it's a gift, Lisa.
Don't you believe it? Look, see for yourself.
I need you to stay alert and tell me of any numbness...
in your paws or down your right side.
Have you ever done this operation before?
Yeah, once in medical school...
but it was to a cadaver.
But my professor told me I did such a good job...
had my patient not been dead, he would've lived.
Very comforting, Doc.
It's like Noah's ark out here.
It truly is a remarkable sight.
This odd collection of animals...
has actually prevented San Francisco's finest...
from entering the building, which is apparently... Where the stolen tiger is being held.
OK, we're open. Gene, irrigate, please.
All right, Jake, I need you to be alert.
Tell me if you feel anything. Anything now?
No. Just the same old pain.
How about now? You feeling any numbness at all?
I--I can't.
I don't know.
Just relax and listen to the sound of my voice, OK?
I'm scared.
Don't be scared. I'm not going to let you go.
John?
What did he say?
He said he's a little scared.
-[Beeping] -Pulse is dropping fast.
His dura is bulging. There's too much pressure.
Uh-oh. My left side went numb.
Pulse still dropping.
All right. You just hang in there, Jacob.
-Hang in there for me. -OK, Doc.
It's a blood clot. It has to be... All I got to do is find it.
We're too close to his motor strip.
More suction. I got to be able to see.
We're losing him. We got to relieve pressure.
-Come on, Jake. -Don't let go yet.
We're almost there, all right?
-We're almost there. -I can feel it.
-There! -There?
-That's it. -Here we go.
It's gone.
The pain is gone.
Blood pressure stabilizing.
It's gone. It's really gone!
He's OK.
Yeah, Doc!
Thank you.
You are very welcome. Just lay back and relax.
We're going to have you back in the center ring in no time.
Doc, why'd you go and do that?
If he tries to eat me again...
I'm going to smack that mustache off your face.
He's a lunatic.
He has a history of mental illness.
He is frankly--
He's the most remarkable surgeon I've ever seen.
He's here to stay.
He is the straw that stirs the drink.
I want exclusive rights to him.
He's a dynamic, caring-- I can't imagine--
Dolittle. Wonderful work, Doctor.
Bravo, Johnny. I'm so inspired--
Welcome aboard.
I feel like I've bought myself a winning franchise.
You haven't bought anything. We're not for sale.
Look, we don't need these namby-pamby wacko freaks.
It's you and me--straight to the top.
You want pigeon? I'll show you pigeon.
Are you happy now?
I'm right behind you.
If we could
Talk to the animals...
Hey! Somebody come here.
I think we got birth here.
Hey, hey, somebody!
I see some shaking in that egg.
I see shaking in the egg.
Hey, hey, hey, how's it going, McGruff?
You know what? A Tic-Tac wouldn't kill you.
Hey, girl, get up. We got birth coming.
Great, a swan egg. This is going to be great.
-Come on, girl. -What is a swan?
My egg. That's my egg hatching!
OK, just breathe.
Yeah, yeah. Here come the magic moment.
Oh, no! Just like "Jurassic Park."
It's going to kill us.
It's hatching!
It--it...
Good lord, Doc. What on Earth is that?
That would be Maya's brand-new baby alligator.
Cool.
-Ha ha. -Mama?
Mama? I'm not your mama.
Mama?
Oh, no, don't look at me.
Although there was one time I got drunk in the Everglades.
Hey, Doc, wait up.
You're going to treat both humans and animals? I love it.
We're all basically the same, you know?
My thoughts exactly.
I want to move my bowl up on the dining room table.
Second, no more dog food. That stuff's gross.
I want my own room with a TV. Basic cable is fine.
I hate stories with happy endings.
-What did you say? -Nothing.
Then, who?
-[Squawks] -Aah! Run!
Run for your lives! Oh, my God!
I don't want to die! I'm too young to die!
Hang a left! No, hang a right!
Look out for the traffic!
Legs, do you thing. Get out of my way!
This circle of life really stinks!
Aah!
Grunt
And squeak
And squawking
With the animals
And they could
Talk
To
Us
Yeah
Ain't nothing but a party, y'all
Well, the gang jiggy, wanna get jiggy
With the mad scientist Mr. Dolittle
If this here's the party with the VIPs
To the left, right
Just do it till you're satisfied
Ain't no different
G-style party crowd is all pimping
Figures popping, people locking hoo-ha
You know Sugarhill ain't stopping.
So, children, keep screaming and dreaming
How you think we got the spotlight beaming.
On stage while I rock rhymes?
All around the nation, prime time.
What you gonna find?
Solutions that work upon the Constitution
And get up off that thing and keep moving
Get caught up in the nine to five
But for now party over here time
Ain't nothing but a party
Tell me, all I see
Ain't nothing but a party
Ain't nothing but a party To the break of dawn
Look into the crowds, and what I see?
Everybody on the dance floor rock a party
To the early morn, break of dawn
Like a hot big bag of buttered popcorn
Ain't nothing but a party going on, I see
Ain't nothing but a party
To the break of dawn
Look into the crowd, tell me what I see
Everybody on the dance floor rock the party
To the early morn, to the break of dawn
Whoo whoo mmm da da
Whoo whoo
Dance, everybody down with us
Just dance
Wanna feel the groove? Then clap your hands
They ask who's blest tonight
I am
God's been good to me
Never to be too late
And continuously, he's great
He's on time, even if I have to sit and wait
Sitting in the corner
Reminiscing down
The course my life has taken
All my ups and all my downs
With your mercy and grace
Has brought me to this place
When I think
Of what he's done
I can dance, dance, dance
All day
All night
I will stand, grab your hand
And think
Of what he's done
I can dance, dance, dance
All day
All night
I will stand, grab your hand
When I think
Of what he's done
I can dance
I can dance, dance, dance
All day
All night
I will stand, grab your hand
When I think
Of what he's done
What he's done
I can dance, dance, dance
All day
All night
I will stand, grab your hand
Stand, stand
If I told you why, why, why
I'd probably lie, lie, lie
Because then I'd see you cry, cry, cry
All I know is I'll be hurting you
If I told you was untrue.
That's why I lie, lie, lie
You got me thinking my, my, my
And it's killing me inside, oh, I
Bye, don't you say bye
Bye-bye
Don't understand, can't explain
What it is that's causing me to
Feel the need to explore any more
When I have you
But when I do, there's no truth
Baby, all I wanna do is lie
The only trrth is that I lie
Because I need you in my life
Life
You got me breaking down now
Oh, oh
Whoa
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Oh, oh, oh, whoa
If I told you why, why, why
I'd probably lie, lie, lie
Because then I'd see you cry, cry, cry
All I know is I'll be hurting you
If I told you I was untrue
That's why I lie, lie, lie
Lie, lie
You got me thinking my, my, my
My,my
And it's killing me inside, oh, my
Bye, don't you say bye
Don't you say bye
If I told you why, why, why
I'd probably lie, lie, lie
Because then I'd see you cry, cry, cry
All I know is I'll be hurting you
If I told you I was untrue
That's why I lie, lie, lie
You got me thinking my, my, my
And it's killing me inside, oh, my
Bye, don't you say bye
Bye-bye
Yeah
I see the birds as they fly away
They give thanks for another day
And the hearts of the lonely ones
Found in you they can trust
Oh, I
Don't mind
Having your attention
And I hope
In time
That the whole world will listen
To the things you do
Because I
Know what it means to you
Do little things today
I know, I know
Do little things to do
K know what it means
Do little things
Because I
Know what it means to you
Do little things today
I know what it means
Do little things to do
That's why I do the things I do
Do, do
The things I do
Do, do
I do
Do, do
The things I do
Do, do
The things I do, do, do